We are well into the wedding week, Ya’ll. Tomorrow most of our family will begin taking off work as we start the final preparations. There are decorations to be finished. Last minute fittings to be done. Food to be cooked. So many little details to finalize and check off our list. We are in the final countdown and things are getting a bit too emotional for me. I am not a fan of crying. Only Colby really ever sees me cry.
It’s just not for me.
But I have a feeling I am going to lose this battle with great defeat on Saturday as the Mother of the Bride. My baby girl, the very child that first made me a “mom,” is getting married. Cheyenne and her new husband will be almost the exact age Colby and I were when we married… only flipped. Some of that is the very reason for my anxiety in this journey of which they are about to embark. I want her marriage to be so much more than what her dad and I had in the beginning.
Chey knows the story of our separation well. She is the only one that really has any recollection of it all. I pray that our challenges, our mistakes, will make enough of an impression to propel them past making the same ones. That somewhere over the past 20 years as her parents, we have taught her how to love… completely.
To give her whole heart to her husband. To never bring the subject of divorce into their marriage. To fight fair. To love passionately. To communicate regularly and to compromise often.
I don’t want to compare her marriage to ours. I only want for hers to be better. I’m her mom. I believe I should want the best for her and I truly do. This whole “mother of the bride” adventure has been just that. A “risky undertaking” that will continue straight through the wedding. From searching for venues to finding the perfect dress and picking out each of the songs, it has not always been fun times. She IS my daughter and we have gone head-to-head over a few of the details.
I have done my best to let this be her wedding. I don’t try to sway her one direction or another. I answer the phone and listen when she is in tears with anxiety. Yet, sometimes the stress of another decision can be too much. I’ve cried over the strain it has put on us both, but I know, in the end, the wedding will be beautiful. Those details we went round and round about will no longer matter.
What WILL matter will be her new life with her husband. A new chapter in both of our lives. For me, even though she moved away from home quite some time ago, I will have to let go as she moves away from us, her family, to begin to create her own life with her husband. She is becoming a young woman and may no longer need me in the same capacity. Our relationship will change… yet I pray the best parts of it remain. It’s my rite of passage as the mother of the bride but I am reluctant to accept it. The idea that a new chapter will begin for Colby and I on Saturday is beginning to set in. A chapter that only sets off a domino effect of more to come with our other 4 children.
The fact that Chey and Nic have been together for over 5 years, and engaged for 2, has allowed us the time to get used to the idea of them being together. The marriage means such a great deal to Colby and I that it’s going to be an emotional journey to get through the week. Let the tears fall. This is me… on being the mother of the bride.
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