There is probably no life change bigger or more important than having kids. It changes every single aspect of your life, and sometimes that can be extremely difficult.
When You Become A Parent
But these tips should help you as you make that exciting journey into parenthood.
Ignore Facebook Moms
First and foremost, ignore Facebook moms–and ignore celebrity moms on Instagram too. Remember that nobody posts anything that’s actually real on social media. People are cherry-picking moments from their lives to make everyone else think that everything is absolutely perfect.
That photo that your high school classmate posted of her holding her newborn and looking glowing has probably been Facetuned–and she’s every bit as sore as you were right after you gave birth, even if she isn’t showing it.
You may look at other people’s perfectly posed photos of their kids and think that their lives look perfect, but you need to remember that they probably took fifty pictures before getting one that was halfway decent.
Behind the scenes, their lives are just as wild and busy as yours!
Maintain Your Friendships
It can be difficult to maintain your friendships after having kids, particularly with friends who don’t have children yet or who aren’t single. They may not be able to understand the ways that your life has changed and you may find yourselves getting frustrated with each other.
Sometimes these friendships may drift, and that’s okay–friendships can sometimes be because of circumstance, and the fact that you’re no longer free for cocktail o’clock on Thursday evenings might mean that you see less of certain people.
But maintaining your friendships is still absolutely crucial–you need more people in your life than your family and your kids, no matter how wonderful they are.
Remember that although your new baby is taking over your head, that won’t be the case with your friends–gush about your child, but remember to ask questions too. Your friends may not be interested in talking potty training or baby names, and that’s okay so long as they show some interest in what’s going on in your life.
There’s a big old world outside your family, and when your kids are a little older, you’ll want to rejoin it.
Remember Your Sense of Self
Finally, it’s important to remember who you are outside the roles of wife and mother. If you’re a stay at home mom or taking maternity leave from work, this can be hard–spending all your time at home with a baby can define you, and you might become frustrated.
And that’s okay–it’s a huge life change and it doesn’t make you a bad mom if you miss certain aspects of your life. Getting to leave the house without a huge stroller, diaper bag, and half an hour of forcing your baby’s arms into a jacket really was a great time to be alive!
Make sure that you keep some time for yourself–join a book group (and read with your baby!), have movie nights with your friends (and snuggle up with your kid to watch Frozen!), go on dates with your partner (and introduce your favorite foods to your toddler!).
Your own interests and what you love are what your kid will love about you when they’re older.
Being a parent can be tough, but it’s also full of joy. These tips will help you make that tricky transition into motherhood.