How to REALLY Help Aging Parents

It’s not easy to get older, but if we’re lucky, it happens to us all. Aging is an inevitability. It’s what the human body must go through.

It’s not just a physical change; it’s a cognitive and mental change as well. However, it doesn’t make it easy to see a parent go through it. 

It doesn’t make it easy to chart through this phase of life when you’ve never done it before.

If you’re the child of an aging parent, then you might be looking at things such as live in care or what you should be doing to help support your parents through this transition.

It’s not something you’re obliged to do, but if it’s something that you are volunteering to do, then you need to be as prepared as possible.

Not every aging parent will need a live-in carer, and not every aging parent will end up in a home, but that doesn’t mean you can’t help.

Understanding how you can help your aging parent at home is going to really help you to propel forward and give them the best possible support.

So with that in mind, let’s take a look at some of the best ways that you can really help your parents as they age at home.

1. Make time to visit

Sometimes all your parents will need is your presence, and they don’t want stuff, and they don’t want you to shop for them. They just want you to sit and be social.

They just want to be with you. One of the very best things you can do is to visit and spend time with them.

This is especially the case if they live alone, so it’s important that you drop in regularly, even if it’s just to say hello.

It’s not just going to help them curb some loneliness, but you’ll be able to monitor the situation and notice when something changes.

2. Call them when you can

If you can’t visit regularly, then get on the phone. Check-in every week, or at least every few days, so that they know that they are important to you.

Even if they’re not particularly independent, they would love to hear from you and talk to you on the phone.

A surprise call can really help to brighten up their day, and that sometimes can make all the difference to their mental health.

3. Invite them to go places with you

As much as it’s nice for you to visit a parent or to call them sometimes, it’s also nice for them to get an invitation to go somewhere else.

If they’re not particularly mobile or they spend a lot of time indoors, the chance to be able to go out and see some things with you as their company is going to make a big difference to how they feel.

4. Sit and listen

Empathy doesn’t cost anything, and sitting and listening when your parents are talking about their life, about how they’re feeling, about their previous past, it’s important for them.

Getting older comes with a range of challenges and health ailments; physical disabilities, a lack of freedom, and memory loss are all up there with some of the things that they may have to go through.

Even if you don’t understand it and you can’t empathize with their position, you can still show them some empathy and listen to what they have to say.

5. Be on hand to fix something

Offer them a helping hand where you can fix things in the house so that they don’t have to pay for a handyman.

If you can’t fix it, make the choice and take the initiative to go and find somebody to do it for them. It’s helpful to be able to recognize when things are breaking down in their home. 

6. Pay attention to home safety

Whenever you happen to visit your parents, go and pay attention to the safety measures in their home and what needs fixing and what doesn’t.

It’s important for you to recognize whether or not they’re going to need banisters or rails across the house so that they can get up and down the stairs or move around easily.

Look around for any potentially loose floorboards or uneven steps that could cause any accidents.

If you’re not living there all the time, you can’t prevent every accident, but you can make moves to ensure they are comfortable.

7. Go with them to the doctor

A great way to really help your aging parent is to go with them to medical appointments.

Not only will it help to have a second set of ears listen to the medical jargon, but it will also help that you are a support.

Sometimes an elderly parent needs somebody to advocate for them, so if they’re hearing things from the doctor and just taking what the doctor says as a word, then you can be there to make any challenges or to bring any points across as necessary.

8. Help them to declutter

Often one of the biggest issues in an aging parent’s home is mess and clutter being everywhere from a lifetime of building up what they need, and while that’s lovely, it can become rather difficult to maneuver.

Years and years of being on planet Earth can mean a buildup of a lot of stuff that they may not be willing to let go of.

Many older people could use the help to declutter but have a very hard time doing it. Not only is it hard to know where to begin, but a lot of the items that we might consider to be junk are precious to them.

So you need to do what you can to declutter whenever you visit.

9. Talk about hobbies

If their eyesight is failing, then your recommendations for new books may fall on deaf ears, but you can also recommend audiobooks and help them rediscover or recreate any hobbies they may enjoy.

It’s important to keep their brains busy and their hands busy, so knitting and crocheting are great, but they may prefer to do art or jigsaw puzzles.

You want them to help their minds stay agile, so helping your age and parent or grandparent to continue reading by recommending excellent books or helping them to find library books is important.

10. Keep their calendar updated

A good way to be able to help an aging parent is to remind them of important events.

Some older individuals may start to feel isolated from society or from their families, but it can help if they have a calendar available to see what events are coming up that they can attend.

You can take that on as something that you can do to help them to stay active and to stay within their community.

11. Help them to prioritize what’s necessary

For an aging population, those everyday tasks can fall by the wayside; where your parents may have once taken great pride in their appearance.

They may have trouble getting in and out of the bath or shower, or they can fall down once they start getting a little older.

You can help them to prioritize their tasks and put showering and hygiene at the very top of their list.

12. Be there for shopping and meal prep

Grocery shopping and menu planning can be too much to handle at once when they’re shopping alone. If you can be there with them, they’ll be able to feel comforted by your presence.

They can also feel reassured that you will be able to help them so they don’t feel alone when it comes to loading shopping into baskets or into the car.

13. Plan things that they can look forward to

We all enjoy events that we can look forward to in advance, and whether it’s a lunch with a friend or a weekend vacation that can be put on the calendar, it’s nice to have something to be excited about.

Helping your aging parent or a grandparent to plan an event that they could look forward to every single week is going to be something that becomes the highlight of life.

It could be bingo at the senior center, or a weekly exercise class in which they can anticipate taking part in, or it could even just be a case of going on a library trip to get a new audiobook.

Whichever it is, it’s important to make sure that your parents feel excited by that.

14. Encourage movement

Picking up your parents and going for a walk is really going to help them to age in place.

Not only will the movement help them to feel more active, but it will also ensure that they prevent disease and maintain their independence.

You want to improve their quality of life and a decent walk at least every day can help. 

When you want to help an aging parent, you can try these tips first and then come back for more.