To deal with your grief, you first need to understand that whether you had a miscarriage, a stillborn child, molar pregnancy, or an ectopic pregnancy even, your grief is understandable.
You, as a person, as a mother, and as a parent, have the right to grieve. But at the same time, also remember that your partner might not have held the child inside of him but has also lost a child just like you.
So share your feelings with him, let him in so you both can support one another and heal together.
Stages of Grief
People deal differently with grief. After a miscarriage, there are stressful times. You feel a sense of loss, and due to the imbalance of hormones, your feelings are often escalated and get mixed up as well.
In most cases, women aren’t even sure how they feel. According to experts, individuals that go through a loss of that extent go through different stages of grief and in a mixed order.
- Shock and Denial
Sometimes your mind puts you in a denial stage to protect you from the trauma. Deep down, you know the truth, but you choose not to believe it and go into denial mode. It is your body’s self-mechanism to protect itself from harm.
- Guilt and Anger
It is human nature to blame. You need someone to blame to feel better. But in case of a miscarriage, the mother starts to self-blame, which turns into guilt and ultimately anger, which can lead to self-harm as well.
Guilt often leads to high levels of stress and anxiety, which ultimately can cause depression. You might find yourself crying all the time or experience sudden mood swings. You might lose interest in everything and only think about your baby.
Once you have dealt with your grief, you might begin to come in terms with your loss. Accepting the loss doesn’t mean that you forget it. It only means that you have decided to keep it somewhere special in your heart and move forward in life.
Dealing With Grief
Feeling grief after losing your child, no matter how early in your pregnancy, is real. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. No one around you can understand the pain and the loss that you feel after losing an unborn child.
The loved ones around you might try to tell you not to worry and move on – but what do they know until they have gone through the same thing.
They cannot understand how it feels to lose someone so close to you. Plus, miscarriages are different from stillborn infants.
Holding your baby, taking a picture with him, or going through the burial service often helps provide parents with the closure that they need. But in the case of miscarriage, there is nothing like that!
In case you are a religious person, seek help from God. Pray, spend time in solitude to rethink everything, and find inner peace. If you need further help, ask your spiritual leader to guide you on the right path and show you the light.
You can try herbal supplements to deal with your emotions or not deal with them for a while and give yourself a break.
Instead of going for drugs, we suggest that you go for CBD vape juice, as is known to prevent stress, depression, and anxiety. You will find CBD joints for sale as well, so you can give them a try if you like.
You will be surprised to find out how many women around you have had miscarriages.
According to a study, 10 out of 20 women have experienced miscarriages in their life. So sometimes, talking to someone who has gone through the same thing can help as well.
If you know someone, then get in contact with them and share your feelings.
In case you are unable to cope with the grief, and it leads to stress, anxiety, and depression, it might be best to go for professional help. Therapists can help you focus all your grief into something positive instead of self-blame, which most mothers do after miscarriage.
There are endless ways in which one might grieve after losing a child, and all of them are acceptable. If you are going through it, then take your time and choose the method that suits your best.
But in case someone you love is going through it, support them and be there for them. That is the best that you can do!
Everyone deals with grief differently. So don’t let anyone tell you how you should grief or how long you should grief for. The grieving process is different from person to person.
So take your time and let your mind and body heal at its own pace. It might take you days, weeks, or even in some cases, months and years as well. And that is okay! There is no need to rush.
Take your time, try loving yourself, and take the next step only when you are ready!