The Book Club I Never Knew I Needed

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I’ve been an avid reader since I was a child. With two younger siblings, my mom was a stay-at-home mom until I started kindergarten and taught me to read before I went to school. I spent most of my childhood with my nose stuck in a book or jumping rope.

The Book Club I Never Knew I Needed

The Book Club

Ever since my mom passed away last August, I’ve found myself reading more and more. Colby says he actually enjoys when I read. It calms me, he says. It takes me to another place and takes my mind somewhere other than grieving.

Just recently, I’ve discovered that it seems to calm Colby too. In fact, together, we’ve kind of started this book club I never knew I needed.

On Sunday, Colby and I, along with Cheyenne and Nic, are running in the Silo District Marathon. Well, that’s the official name of the run, but we’re only doing the 5K. We haven’t ran in over 2 years – so 5K it is.

But, the reason I so haphazardly signed us up the minute it was announced was the WHY behind the race. 100% of the proceeds go towards the research of rare cancers.

My mom had Mantle Cell Lymphoma. MCL accounts for around 6% of all Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma cases in the United States.

It’s a rare cancer.

Therefore, the cause was enough for me to sign us all up on a whim and to train for a 5K. With the run on Sunday, my emotions are all over the place.

Well, the race coupled with the fact that Chey and Nic graduate from college next Friday. May 11. Exactly 9 months since my mom passed away on Friday, August 11.

Cheyenne often worked incredibly hard not for me or Colby, not for herself, but for her MaMaw. My mom. It was incredibly important to her that she please her MaMaw.

It’s hard to explain perhaps, but my mom was the only grandmother my children ever had. (The reason there is a whole other story). For her grandchildren, making her happy – making her proud – was everything.

My mom was in the delivery room, at my side, as all but Joeli came into the world (she gave her spot to Chey for that one) and they were all (except Joeli) in the hospital room with my mom when she took her final breath.

This graduation signifies so much more to Cheyenne and I than the end of this chapter. Needless to say, it’s going to be extremely emotional for a host of reasons.

Then, two days later there’s Mother’s Day. The first without my mom.

The next day, all eight of us then leave for our family vacation to Turks & Caicos. A trip I booked in January after feeling as though my mom was telling me to live life. To do all the things I wanted to do – and to do them now.

reading in bed

So what does all of this have to do with reading? Well, this week alone I am currently in the middle of book number four. (Kindle Unlimited is, for me, the best therapy I pay for. When I tell Colby I feel bad for paying for it each month, he reminds me I NEED it.)

I’ve once again started a similar reading cycle as the one that I went through right after my mom passed away. Basically, this translates into my reading every free minute I have to keep my mind from drifting into a deep depression brought on by grief.

And the book club I mentioned? It has two members. Me and Colby. I read the books, and each night as Colby and I train for the 5K, I tell him about what I’ve read over the last day. We then discuss the book and it keeps me focused. Of course, the joke being he hasn’t read the book.

I get that it’s not a conventional book club in any sense of the word, but it’s apparently what I needed. Colby was the one that decided we had a book club. I’m sure he feels privileged to be in one considering he’s never been much of a reader. Perhaps he needed it too.

For me, I appreciate the fact that he lets me talk and he just listens. I constantly apologize and tell him I’m sure he doesn’t really care about the books I read, but he assures me repeatedly he does.

Although, knowing my husband as I do, I know he cares more about me than the characters of my books.

He loves me well and, by doing so, knows what I need before I do. And right now, I need this unconventional book club he and I have started. At least for the next few weeks. After that, we’ll see how long the book club lasts or when it starts back up again. For now, it’s working – and that’s all that really matters.

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