To explain my absence …

I can’t believe I have been “absent” from my computer for the past 3 or 4 days. My husband kept asking if I wanted to get on … but I just couldn’t bring myself to sit in this chair yet. Explanation coming.

Let’s see … my absence. Well, let me begin with these verses from Psalm 139:

Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.
You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
-Psalm 139:4-6

I searched and searched looking for answers to our recent circumstances. I read about how God never makes mistakes, how He never tempts us with more than we can handle (1 Corinthians 10:13), and how He always knows what He’s doing. I do believe in all of this. In fact, we sang a song at church Sunday that simply said,

I will trust, I will obey,
I will follow you wherever, come what may.

It totally hit home for me this past weekend. I told God that I completely trust in Him and will not question His plan for my life … and I prayed this as I prepared to take a pregnancy test this past Thursday … and repeated it after seeing the positive results. Yes, we are now expecting baby #5! But, do I question His plan for my life? No way? Do I think He’s got the wrong family? Nope. Does He know what’s He’s doing? Of course! I have no doubt that this was God’s plan for us all along.

I was very scared to tell my parents because of my mother’s reaction to baby #4 (although she adores each of my children she worries over me when I am pregnant). So, I stressed over it for 2 days at her side, but saw an opportunity when my sister came over to visit while we were at my mom’s. My mother was actually very excited! She wanted another grandchild (or baby to hold) but knew my brother and sister were done (my brother is a single dad of 4 boys and my sister says she has all she can handle with her 2). We then told a couple of close friends and my in-laws … so I figured it was safe to go ahead and blog about it. Everyone is excited and supportive.

We asked each of them to simply be happy and support us because we know we’ll receive plenty of criticism from the “general public” as well as some of our own family members. I don’t really care what others think … but I get tired of “Don’t ya’ll know what causes that?” My answer: “Yes, and we’re obviously pretty good at it!” And the other one, “Do ya’ll need a TV in the bedroom?” We have 7 TV’s in our home … every bedroom and two of the three living areas. But, I, particularly, don’t like television. We mainly use our TVs to watch DVDs. So, to those people I simply say,

Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
-Matthew 7:1-3

Now, our biggest challenge is JJ! She has been telling me for 2 months that I was pregnant and I kept telling her to stop saying that! She asks me constantly if the baby is coming yet. Can she help it out? What are we going to name it? Etc, etc! Wow! It’s going to be a LONG 9 months!

Other than the fact that I am one of the few that develops “ptyalism,” which is excessive salivation during pregnancy, I would probably be feeling fine. This “disorder” makes me feel nauseous ALL DAY! I’ve had it with every single pregnancy and this is what made me positive that I was indeed expecting! I can’t stand it … but I keep telling myself “I can do this!”

So, it looks like I’m only 5-6 weeks along (I wish I was one of those that didn’t know until I was 6 months along)! According to the internet, I am due around September 23 (our 14th anniversary is on Sept 17 and our oldest daughter, Pepper, turns 13 on the 21st). BTW … all of our kids are excited and “up for the challenge.”

My mom reminded me today of the three failed attempts to have my husband’s vasectomy done (read more about this failed goal here … #5) … it all works according to God’s plan. I kept telling my husband that we weren’t supposed to have that procedure done for some reason, but never in my life have I ever imagined having 5 kids! But, God is awesome, and though we struggle financially, God always provides and we continue to believe that He will still carry us through this as well. He is faithful!

365 Days of Gratitude

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