o·ver·whelm – verb /ˌōvərˈ(h)welm/
bury or drown beneath a huge mass; defeat completely; have a strong emotional effect on; be too strong for; overpower

Do you ever feel overwhelmed? Drowning beneath the weight of your everyday duties and responsibilities? Overpowered by your circumstances? Yeah, that’s me sometimes. I must find some peace. I can not even explain the day we had yesterday since JJ has been battling her constipation issues the past couple of days and is not happy about it. It tends to magnify at night when she just wants to sleep {she is the one child we have that must be in bed every night at the same time no matter what}. She goes to sleep and is back up every 5 minutes trying to go to the bathroom. Then she cries because she is just so tired. She begins arguing with SuperDad and I back and forth because we are trying to help her with the bathroom issues so that she can go to sleep. But she just gets mad because she just wants to sleep. In our mind it makes sense to go to the bathroom {at this point we can tell she is just withholding for some reason} and then be well enough to sleep. Makes sense to me?

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15 months we have been battling this. I do not think anyone can understand the emotions and frustrations that accompany it without having been through something similar with your child. As I mentioned just a few days ago, we are nearing the end but we are not there yet. I so wish we were. I am sad that the constipation has manifested itself this way again. I was hoping we were done with this part of the illness. What do we do? We refuse to use any more medications more th emotional issues {not the constipation}. She is already in therapy. Besides, when she is with her therapists and doctors they do not see what we see. We offer to videotape but they assure us they have seen it all before. What to do?

We simply continue to pray without ceasing. We work with JJ and show her never-ending love and support. Her therapist warns us that JJ has taken a huge hit to her self-esteem through all of this so we have to be very careful with our choice of words. Everything revolves around JJ being “calm.” Calm is the word we are taught to use for most every situation. Well, calm is not how I would describe the situation right now. I refuse to feel defeated, especially since things were going so well just three days ago. We are still progressing, but feel like we have taken a step back in this particular area. Sigh… that is where the overwhelmed feeling comes in. I don’t know if it’s the change is routine with summer, the fact that she dearly misses her teacher, the added time with her siblings, or what it may be… but something has stirred up JJ’s need to withhold again. So, ummm, yeah… overwhelmed.

Fortunately, we were able to get JJ to stop withholding, although it was not an easy task. She worries so much about what others will think of her and that hurts my heart. We try so hard to make her understand that God made her and He made no mistakes. She is a beautiful girl and should be proud of the person she is. She has memorized scripture to reiterate that and we never demean or belittle each other. Alas, I know the light at the end of the tunnel is coming. We are getting there. At least for now, with the release of some of the build-up in her tummy {to put it nicely} we are seeing some of that calm again. Breathe…

calm – adjective /kä(l)m/
not showing or feeling nervousness, anger, or other emotions; peaceful, esp. in contrast to recent violent activity; tranquil and quiet

365 Days of Gratitude

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