How To Know When Your Marriage Is In Trouble And You Need To Work On It

How To Know When Your Marriage Is In Trouble And You Need To Work On It

Does your marriage feel it’s not running as smoothly as it used to? When should you be concerned? Read on to know the signs that your marriage is in trouble.

It is common for most marriages to go through ups and downs. But, you need to reevaluate if the marriage is right for you if it is beginning to affect your mental and physical health.

You are bound to experience depression or anxiety if you stay in a long-term relationship where your needs are not met.

You can manifest symptoms differently, for instance, weight gain, gastrointestinal issues, heart palpitations, heaviness in the chest, and so on.

But before you start searching ‘how long does it take to get a divorce’ online, it’s still important to become sure in your decision, either to leave or to stay and try to figure things out. Both can be valid approaches.

Let’s see how you’d even begin that process:

If you start to experience these symptoms over an extended period, it might indicate that something is not right with your marriage.

How To Know When Your Marriage Is In Trouble And You Need To Work On It

Here are a few signs that suggest you are in a bad marriage. 

  1. Your Partner Makes You Feel Low About Yourself

If you are feeling down on yourself, you need to identify how much of that is caused by your partner directly, and what part of it is due to external stressors. External stressors may include ongoing insecurities related to your past relationships or other past trauma. 

You need to confront your partner about the issues directly caused by their harsh criticism, minimizations of your feelings, or name callings.

You have to be assertive while requesting your partner to stop such behavior. If it still does not stop, that is a sign that you are not in a healthy marriage.

The average length of marriage in America is lower than in most parts of the world. As it is, you don’t really need your spouse’s behavior to be contributing to making the length of your marriage shorter.

  1. You Feel Contempt Toward Your Partner

Being annoyed with your partner due to certain behaviors is something, but feeling extreme disgust or loathing for them is something else.

When you feel contempt for a person, it becomes impossible to be in each other’s company and not be able to find a single good thing about them. Your partner may be invalidating everything you say, rolling their eyes or huffing at everything you do.

You need to see the good qualities that your spouse possesses outside the marriage, such as being a good friend, a great parent, or a dedicated professional. This will help you get over the contempt you have for that individual.

If you are unable to repair your relationship due to not being able to get over the contempt for each other, this might signal that your marriage is in trouble, and you need to work on it.

  1. Your Partner Makes You Feel Controlled 

In a happy and healthy marriage, each partner should be able to influence the perspective of the other and should be able to influence each other openly. You should have the choice to alter or change your position after your partner has successfully been able to show you things from their point of view.

If your spouse tries to limit your options or manipulate your choices, they don’t see you as an equal.

They might try to control your access to finances, might want to monitor your communications, block opportunities by dictating who you can and cannot speak to, or refuse to help you out during critical moments. Or they might keep second-guessing your abilities to take on new ventures and opportunities. 

  1. You Hang On For The Wrong Reasons

You are right to be concerned about how other people will take your decision, but that should not be the thought keeping you in the marriage. You are not taking good care of yourself if you stay in the marriage to minimize the negative impacts separating will have on your children, extended family, or even your partner. 

Not thinking of yourself could result in more painful scenarios than the pain you are trying to protect those people from down the line.

At the end of the day, if you find yourself trying to convince yourself to stay in the marriage for an extended time, it is undoubtedly a sign that things are not working out properly.

  1. You Started Having An Emotional Affair

It is normal to seek validation outside your marriage. But you must maintain boundaries that are respectful to your spouse.

You should be concerned for your marriage if you see that you are making more room for the other person by de-prioritizing your marriage, hiding the interactions with that person from your spouse, or spending a significant amount of mental energy and time on that person.

  1. You Don’t Argue Anymore

It can be tough mentally and physically if you have to deal with conflict regularly in your relationship. But arguing is also an opportunity to address the frustrations regarding the issues that need to be fixed. It also means both partners are involved.

You might be putting off arguments because you fear how your partner handles them or because it might not seem worth it. This would be a sign that things are not right in your marriage.

  1. You Have A Sloppy Body Language

Your body language while interacting with your spouse or while just being around them portrays if there still is a desire for you to reconnect with them.

If you get tearful or reach out to your partner’s knee, hand, or shoulder to comfort them, it shows that your partner’s feelings still affect you.

If you turn away while speaking to each other or don’t reach out to your partner when they are experiencing a difficult moment, it indicates something is wrong with your marriage.

Summing Up

If you can identify the signs that show that your marriage is in trouble, you will be able to work towards taking measures to fix your marriage. So you must be able to tell early on that your marriage needs work.

Hopefully, the abovementioned signs will help you know when it is time to work on your marriage.

Best of luck! Hope you can find ways to strengthen your marriage.