When people speak of single moms, there is often an implication that they were single when they became a mom.
Not that it matters, because all moms are entitled to the same help and support when they are facing motherhood alone, but there are many who go through the trauma of going from bringing a new life into the world as part of a couple and then seeing that partnership end.
Whether it’s because of a breakdown in a relationship or something more tragic, there is no doubt that it complicates the issue of being a new parent.
As a mom yourself, being able to provide assistance to a friend who finds themself in the above position — as a newly single mom — is something that can help you in your roles of mother and friend.
It is certainly something that will be appreciated by your friend, who has found herself in a situation she didn’t ask for, and for which there is rarely a road map.
Delivering help comes in many forms, and the following are some of the most important.
Ways to Help a Single Mom
Help with resources
People will look at the above term and think “you mean money, right? Resources always means money”. That’s an overly cynical way of looking at it, and in any case rarely practical.
There aren’t many of us who can easily replace the financial assistance that was being provided by a partner without putting ourselves in difficulties.
You can, however, assist in other ways such as looking after their kid or kids while they look for alternative ways to meet the shortfall, or by putting them in touch with services like https://embracegrace.com/ who provide assistance for mothers who have found themselves going it alone.
Providing a supportive stance
Regardless of the circumstances in which a mother has become single, there are unfortunately some people who see a new single mother as a target for gossip and rumor.
Why this is, we can’t really say, but newly single mothers can find themselves in the unenviable situation of losing friends and feeling even more isolated right at the point where they need more people around them.
Standing by them and being happy to be seen with them can reassure your friend that at least someone is bigger than the ludicrous gossips, and you’d be surprised how much difference that makes.
Recommending assistance from reliable people
In any relationship, the duties surrounding the home, kids and general admin tend to be divided in a way that suits the couple.
When one of the members of that couple is no longer around, there can be a horrendous dual impact as your friend realizes that there are a whole bunch of new duties she now has to take on — and each is a fresh reminder of what has been lost.
Speak to your friend about areas where she needs help, and if possible organize support to ensure that the load on your friend hasn’t just doubled.
Recommending a mechanic or plumber you have found to be reliable and not exploitative — or better yet, knowing someone who’ll help out for free — can make a big difference early on.