How Many Children Should You Have?

All of my life I have wanted children. I knew from an early age that I was going to be a Mommy and that I would be good at it. I never knew how much fun it would actually be until I had my son!

motherhood

How Many Children?

When I was seven years old, my little sister was born and almost immediately I took on a role of caring for her and making sure she was safe and loved.

My parents were not in complete agreement about having a third child, but my dad convinced my mom and that meant mom was not completely attached to my little sister at first.

She wasn’t mean or neglectful, but she wasn’t “doting” either. I think many girls around my age were probably maternal in a way and started developing dreams of becoming a mommy, but I had the opportunity to feel what it was like.

As my sister and I grew up, we were very close. I also have an older sister and the three of shared a small bedroom until our older sister moved out for college.

My younger sister and I had separate beds, but she would always move into my bed at night until we convinced our parents to just buy us one bigger bed. I would take care of my sister during the summer when our parents were working and we stayed at home.

I was responsible for feeding her and making sure she took a nap. We fought like cats and dogs, but we were very close. The three of still are very close.

As I have grown up, I often wondered how many children I would have and made plans and dreams of both big families and small families. When I was approached my mid-twenties, I began to wonder if I would ever meet someone to get started.

I told myself that if I hadn’t met someone by 30, then I would consider adoption or single parenting.

At 30, I moved that out to 35 (I was still having fun). However, by 31, I was married with a one month old so there ya go… (go ahead, snicker at the math…I said I was having fun).

About the time our son turned 2 years old, my husband and I were really becoming more comfortable with parenthood (and each other) and we started talking about baby #2.

I had settled in my mind that 4 children sounded like a good number and he was thinking more along the lines of 2. I knew I wanted more than 2 children, but I wasn’t convinced that I wanted 3 because I know what it’s like to have “Middle Child Syndrome”.

When my IUD fell out in September 2010, we figured it must be time to start trying (you know, God’s plan and all) so we didn’t take steps to prevent pregnancy.

Now, our son is over 4 years old and we are beginning to wonder if we will even get to baby #2, much less babies 3 or 4, before I am old enough to be a health risk to the baby by becoming pregnant. Ah, isn’t God’s planning perfect?!

What is the key to planning for the number of children to have in your family?

This would be a great question to ask of Staci (if I wasn’t guest posting for her today) since she has decided on 5 for her number. In the meantime, I will just give you a few tips that I have found in my search around the subject.

Talk to your spouse

Number one is always communication. It’s just that simple. Talk about it together and come to an agreement.

Start with only one

You have to start somewhere so have one child (unless you get pregnant with multiples, then you should go ahead and have all of those) and then decide if you want one more. If the answer is yes, try for another. Repeat this process until you are done.

Look around at your past and present

How do you feel about your family of origin and its size? What about your spouse’s family of origin? Look at your friends and their family sizes. What do you like/dislike about the sizes of their families?

Ask your current children

Not highest on the priority list, but something to consider is whether your current children would be happy with expanding your family. If your children feel like you don’t have enough time for them now, adding to the family size is probably not the best idea.

Pray about it and leave God in control

He’s in control anyway and He knows what’s right for you and what you can handle, so why not relieve any worry or concern over it and just “Give it to God”.

Ask the internet (or just poll your family and friends)

Everyone has an opinion about your life and what is best for you so why not open up the discussion and see where it takes you. You certainly don’t have to listen to it all or follow it all, but you might get some interesting perspectives from it!!

You could also take this fun little “How Many Kids Should You Have” online quiz. Take it and let me know what it says!! (It recommended two for me)

How many children do you have and how did you decide on that number?

How many children do you think I should have (just expanding my poll reach a little )?


Janet is a full time work outside the home mommy of one fast and furious four year old. She rambles on about life and stuff at GoingCrazy!! WannaGo??!! She also talks some about her passion, Child Safety, as well as reviews family-friendly products and hosts a ton of giveaways.

365 Days of Gratitude
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