August. It’s never really been my favorite month. As a child, it meant going back to school.
It signifies the end of my favorite season: summer. My birthday. Ugh.
And now, it defines the loss of our matriarch.
In just 6 days we’ll mark the second anniversary of your passing. Sometimes it seems like yesterday and other times it feels like an eternity.
So much has happened in those two years.
Gabriel graduated high school and left to attend college in Florida.
Chey, Nic & Des all graduated college.
The boys moved into their own apartment.
Wyatt hit a milestone birthday: 21.
Jarrett got his driver’s license and Jaden has her permit.
Jaci enters high school this year and Joeli is bringing up the caboose. Well, sort of.
One of the biggest milestones was the birth of Riley Mae; your first great- grandchild and namesake.
Oh, how I love her. It makes understanding the grandparent relationship so much easier now. I can see why my kids loved you as they did — and why they still do.
Missing you is hard.
Last Monday, I was holding Riley on the couch and she began looking up and to the side of me. At first, she buried her head in my chest the way she does when someone talks to her.
Then, after a little time passed, she looked up again and began to smile.
After a little bit more time, not only was she smiling and looking back and forth from me to the empty space beside me, but she lifted her arms as if wanting to be picked up.
It was at this moment that I felt an overwhelming sense of your presence. I could hear your voice.
I knew it had to be you she was seeing. You who was talking to her. You making her smile. And you who she wanted to hold.
I haven’t felt your presence that strong since the months after you passed.
You, her Guardian Angel.
Of course, I cried as I watched her and waited for the interaction to cease. She looked at me, turned, and buried her head in my chest once more.
I hugged her with all I had. I knew that hug she offered was from you.
Missing you every day. ❤️