Yesterday was a bit of a roller coaster in many ways for a lot of us. For me personally, well, I had a follow-up doctor appointment for my twin ovarian cysts and thought nothing of it when I walked into the office.
The minute we began the ultrasound and my doctor asked my age, I immediately knew something wasn’t right.
In addition to another cyst forming between the twins, there was almost twice as much endometrial lining than my last appointment 6 weeks ago.
Endometrial Hyperplasia was the term my doctor used. Could be “pre-cancerous.” (He’s the same doctor that removed part of my cervix 17 years ago due to “pre-cancerous” cells.)
The doctor turned and asked the nurse if we did a biopsy last time. My heart sank.
I know that word. In addition to losing my mom to cancer, I’ve also lost my grandmother and aunt (both on mom’s side) to cancer.
I watched each of them fight the disease. The shortest fight being mere weeks and the longest, my mom’s, last 7 years. I was there when each of them took their last breath.
You can imagine my very real fear of the “c” word.
So, as Colby stood by and held my hand, my gynecologist performed an endometrial biopsy. It burned as he pulled the sample from the lining of my uterus.
Afterward, in addition to stomach cramps and some light bleeding, I was left in a confused haze.
Once again, I am left waiting to hear if the disease that ravaged my mom’s body has found it’s way into mine.
Once again, Colby and our kids have to wait to see if they will have to face this ugly monster that keeps seeking refuge in our family.
I go back to Joeli, being the youngest, and how I so desperately want to watch her grow up. How unfair her time with her MaMaw was considering my mom fought cancer for 7 of the 8 years Joeli had her here on earth.
Y’all, I know life isn’t fair and that’s just how it goes; but can I, in the midst of my own turmoil, once more feel as though this just isn’t fair?
This is the 3rd time in the past 12 months I’ve waited for these type of results. This will make the 8 or 9th different type of cancer I’ve been tested for.
I’m tired. I’m emotionally exhausted.
But, I’m praying through my circumstances. Praying for those who have been here before me and received the worst possible news.
Praying that it’s a simple endometrial hyperplasia that we’ve caught early and can be easily treated. Praying it’s not cancer!
I’m a firm believer in the power of prayer.